Taming the Tantrums

I have a three-year-old and a four-year-old. I know my share fair share of tantrums. I’m no expert, but I feel like I am slowly learning about taming the tantrums. Some days it still feels like one tantrum after another, other days are much better.

My youngest daughter can be especially challenging at times. Last week, we were shopping at the mall, both girls had to go to the bathroom. So the three of us girls went together. Maggie has a thing with wet clothing, she can’t wear anything with even a drop of liquid on it. She thought her pants got wet (which they did) and refused to put them on, in a public bathroom. She was tired and ended up having a HUGE meltdown which ended in her hitting me and trying to bite me. We both left the bathroom in tears. It is definitely not my proudest moment as a mom.

I wrote a post a while ago about How to Stop Arguing with your Toddler and while that works well during the meltdowns, I was desperate for something to tame the tantrums… in a dream world, something to make them disappear altogether. I dream of a tantrum fairy who just flutters in and takes the tantrums before they even start. But, she’s three, so I know that’s not going to happen!

How many of you have heard something along the lines of you can’t give anything without filling up your own cup first? I have learned this to be especially true in two ways during this season in life.

Filling My Cup

Taming the Tantrums with verse from Romans 15:13

I know each and every day, I need my strength to deal with whatever life throws my way. I need my cup to be full, I need Jesus!

The last month or so, I’ve been getting up earlier than my kiddos so I can spend some time in the Word and prayer. I find that time I spend with Jesus is so refreshing, it fills my cup so to say. My day seems to go MUCH better when I take those first moments of my day to be filled with the Lord. It improves my mood as well, which makes me a better mom.

I am NOT a morning person. I would sleep till noon if I could, but I know I need this time. Some mornings, I just want to crawl back into bed. I’ve put my phone with my alarm on the other side of the room so I have to get up!!

Filling Her Cup

How does this relate to my daughter and taming the tantrums? The key is time. I notice on the days I spend focused, one on one time with her, the better she acts. When I fill her cup, she’s in a better mood.

I’m not saying this as a quick fix. It isn’t. It’s hard some days to want to invest that one on one time with her, especially when she’s being so miserable. But I know how much she needs this.

Taming the Tantrums picture of girl on swing with quote "Let me love you a little more, before you're not little anymore"

Her favourite thing right now is being pushed on the swing. She will ask everyone and anyone to push her. She loves going high, asking over and over to push her higher and higher than ever. It’s pretty cute. How hard is it for me to take 15-20 minutes out of my day to go and push her in the swing?

I recently started reading the book “Whole Brain Child” by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. I love that it talks about connecting with the child to the right and left sides of the brain. But again, a lot of it was what to do during the tantrum. I find spending quality time with her bites the tantrums in the bud taming the tantrums before they start happening.

Taming the Tantrums

Time is the way to tame the tantrums. Spending time with God tames my tantrums, and spending time with my daughter tames her tantrums. I need that time with God to be able to spend the time with Maggie; otherwise, I have nothing to give.

What are some ways you spend time to fill your own cup? How do you fill your kids’ cups? I’d love to hear!!

Child screaming with caption Taming the Tantrum

21 thoughts on “Taming the Tantrums

  1. So good! Thanks for the reminder to fill my kid’s cups! I have 4 and we homeschool, so we are together a lot. But just being in the same house isn’t the same as deliberately spending time together. I needed this reminder!

  2. I like that you included “filling her cup”. I agree one hundred percent. I have noticed that my kids and I get along a lot better if we spend a little time cuddling first thing in the morning as opposed to the mornings that I’m bustling around when they wake up.

  3. So amazing how God uses our relationship with Him as a model for how to relate with others. I think the same thing about grace. When I want to punish my kids for bad behavior, I always feel God’s gentle nudge….as if to say what happens if I am as hard on you as you are on them? Convicting to say the least.

    1. So convicting! I’ve gone back and apologized to my kids before. I think it’s good to show them to take responsibility for their actions and apologize if they are in the wrong.

  4. Having worked with children, I can tell you arguing suddenly makes you their age, you are still the parent. There are some that don’t have tantrums, it is never too early to sow God’s Word as we did in family daycare, quiet time and naps are beneficial, they learn to soothe themselves. Quality time is good, but mothers have so much to do and need their rest and prayer time. It is amazing how some adults still have them, and I had my stressful moments, the earlier you learn to rest in His love, the more of His peace you have. Praying for you all that your children be taught by the Lord, through His Spirit. Children and adults need a teachable spirit to see His blessings, Thanks, Caroline.

  5. This is so true and I really needed to read this. I have a 4 and 2 year old and we are going through a phase (I hope) with tantrums. I agree, more time with the Lord helps me to be a better mom with more patience. Thanks for this well written blog of encouragement.

    1. I’m so glad it was able to encourage you this morning ❤️ I hope and pray mine are going through a “phase” too!!

  6. Great tips! I don’t have children. But hope to one day. I hate when I have a tantrum at 34. I can’t even imagine when my children have them. (insert large eyed emoji here). Hope the text tantrum goes smoothly. 🙂

  7. Great tips, here! Our children just want our attention. One thing that helps my two year old is when she is having a tantrum, I try to remain clam and not emotionally react. They have so many emotions and feelings, and they just don’t have good ways/tools to express them. 🙂

    1. Very true! It’s so hard to not emotionally react after many tantrums! But it does make a huge difference.

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