Surviving the First 5 Years of Marriage

My hubby and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary on July 13th (Friday the 13th this year!) It was so lovely. We (I should say he) got a sitter and made dinner reservations for us at Greek Islands here in Abbotsford. If you are lucky enough to live in the Fraser Valley of BC, you’ve GOT to check out this restaurant! There are 4 locations (2 in Abbotsford, 1 in Chilliwack and 1 in Surrey) The food and service are AMAZING! (I have no affiliation with them, it’s just a great place to eat!)

Most amazing and fun day of my life!!

Anyway, I know 5 years isn’t an eternity, but here are some tips on surviving the first 5 years of marriage!

1- Communicate

Even if it means you’re going to start a fight sometimes. You need to say things to get them off your chest or you will just stew and stew about them. Tell your spouse what you are up to in the next few days. Take the time to just talk. It’s so important to keep open lines of communication. I can tell when my husband and I haven’t seen much of each other in a while (sometimes we go a few days between because of our work schedules) because our communication just isn’t where it should or could be. Which leads to me my next tip!

2- Make time to spend with each other

We try to make it a priority to go out (just the two of us) at least once every 2 months. My brother and sister in law worked out an agreement with us to watch each others kids so we can do this. We babysit their kids and they babysit ours. It’s worked out really well and given us the much needed time to reconnect. The past few weeks have been crazy with Pete and my work schedules. Pete’s been doing a lot of overtime and my teaching is always at night, so we don’t overlap at home much. Even just going out for dinner last night I feel so much more connected to him. We had a chance to talk, just us. It was great!

Wine and dine meal. Make time for each other to survive the first 5 years of marriage

3- Keep the humour

Even though I tease Pete about telling “Bad Dad Jokes” all the time, he still makes me laugh! I love that we can still joke around and I love that we are passing that sense of humour on to our girls. It’s good to not take yourself to seriously sometimes. Life is tough and there is so much that can bog us down, but laughter is so good for the soul!

4- Keep the romance

Sometimes Pete just brings me home flowers or chocolates. I love that. It’s not usually on any specific day, he just does it if he knows I’ve had a rough do or something. I try to leave him little notes here and there, or send him special texts while he is at work to let him know I’m thinking about him. Even in the bedroom, it’s important to keep that spark alive. Some days I am so tired and sex is the last thing on my mind. But after it always makes me feel more connected to Pete again. I’ve challenged myself in the last few months to not say no when he initiates. I know it’s important to him and it’s an important part to a marriage relationship.

Couple about to kiss. Keep the romance alive to survive the first 5 years of marriage

5- Learn to lean on the Lord together

We have been through A LOT in 5 years. We’ve had multiple job changes, including 6 months with neither of us working. An 11 week premature baby and subsequent 69 day hospital stay. We’ve dealt with financial struggles, aging parents, moving to a new city and 2 girls in 14 months. It’s been a little crazy and scary at times. But through it all, we know that God is in charge and we’re learning to trust him each day. This was one of the greatest lessons I learned during our NICU stay (you can read about my thoughts on that here) In the midst of our deepest financial struggles, we had to rely on the Lord to provide for us each and every single day. And He did! I don’t know why it still surprises me when He comes through in the end, He’s been faithful all along after all!

Bible with rings: Learn to lean on God to survive your first 5 years of marriage

I’m no marriage expert, but these are 5 things that I know without a shadow of a doubt makes our relationship stronger. What are somethings you do to keep your marriage alive and growing?

Surviving the First 5 Years of Marriage

5 thoughts on “Surviving the First 5 Years of Marriage

  1. My husband and I have been married just over a year, and I’ve been noticing lately that the a lot of the “honeymoon phase” has worn off. We’ve been looking for ways to intentionally love each other lately, and these tips are helpful! Thank you for sharing.

    1. It’s so important to be intentional! We have an agreement with my brother and sister in law to watch each other’s kids so the other couple can go on a date. We were doing it once a month, but we need to get back on that! It’s been about every 3 months lately.

  2. I have been married for almost 12 years and I agree with everything on this list. I just wrote a blog post this week about this same thing! The hardest one for us is finding time to spend together, just the two of us. We have 3 kiddos and life has just gotten in the way. We are making a commitment this year to change that.

    1. We struggle with that too! We have 2 kids and by the time they’re in bed we both just crash on the couch. Not much for quality time. It’s hard to be intentional about it sometimes, but so so important!

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